Growing up with an Inappropriate Last Name

I know what crossed your mind the second you saw my name on my profile. It is the same thought that goes through every teachers head during roll call on the first day of class, it’s the same question that the cashier asks themselves when I tell them my name at the checkout, it’s the same error that websites make when I make a username and it says “VALID USERNAME REQUIRED”, and its the same awkwardness that a person feels the first time they meet me. So to answer your question, yes that is actually my last name and yes it’s pronounced exactly how you would expect. 

Some people think that I find it humiliating to have Boner as my last name, these people are nervous around me and are unsure how to talk about anything until I assure them that I find that my last name is one of the biggest blessings in my life and if it weren’t for my indecent name I wouldn’t be the person I am today (plus its pretty damn funny). 

I’m sure you’re curious how a kid can grow up with such a name, for me it wasn’t until I was in 5/6th grade that I even started to realize that my name wasn’t normal. This is when all the boys started to figure out what this slang term meant and then the teasing began. My 11-year-old self had no clue why these boys were teasing me, so I went home crying one day and my dad told me why we were different from most families and then he said “So you better start laughing with them!”. That is exactly what I did and from then on my name has been an ice breaker, a great joke, and simply a way to make people remember me.

By my senior year of high school everyone was so used to my name that I started to forget that it was even inappropriate. I was quickly reminded when I went off to college and I started over, the first week was different for me because people remembered me, not by my first name, but by Boner. To this day, almost everyone at school just calls me, Boner (I’m pretty sure some of them still don’t even know my first name).

Moral of the story is that my name either could break me or make me. It has definitely made me and I am proud to rock my obscene last name hard! (oh no)

Laugh with them, life is more fun that way.




Here are some people who I love and share the same name as me:




2 Replies to “Growing up with an Inappropriate Last Name”

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